Meditations: Session Two

Continuing my Meditations Series, tonight I’m transcribing my handwritten notes from Session Two. (Technically, the third session, as my first session was recorded in the entry Transcendental Realizations.)

I should state that, as in each of my meditation sessions, the notes taken after meditating were a direct result of the intentions that I consciously decided prior to meditating. To emulate the practice I use in my meditation sessions, read: A Cocktail for The Soul.

Note: Everything within bold text (section headlines included) or parenthesis (except for the squiggly kind) and brackets was added at the time of this publication to organize / clarify and or add afterthought to the notes at the time of publishing.

Hacking The Worth: Mastering feelings and motivation

  • Self-esteem rooted in the past can hold us back. Should be rooted in the future w goals we can “feel”.
  • We have to feel worthy of feeling good / how / we want to feel.
  • We have to believe in the things we want to feel.
  • Just as we need to have love for someone to feel love for them we need to have exciting goals to feel excited about them. We cannot will ourselves to authentically feel something about a thing that is not there. In this way how can we have a good day when we don’t first believe it is / or (and?) have designed it to be.
  • Do feelings come before or after (strike-through verbatim from notepad) Are subjective feelings rooted in belief or perception? They must be preconceived ideas for us to perceive them (The root feeling / trigger must have been preconceived at some earlier point in time. i.e., our base concept of fear and love.) Prime the pump (underline verbatim). Influence both the tangible {circumstances} and the intangible {beliefs} factors that determine the desired experience / feelings we want.
  • Feelings predetermine experience.
  • Can we then effectively motivate ourselves and design life based on desired emotional states? [Kismet / bashert / providence / spiritual serendipity: I am now reading the book: The Desire Map, which is precisely about this process, hmm..]
  • Why aren’t we naturally wired like this [to be motivated by our core desired feelings]. What is our default mode of motivation? {pain/pleasure <- avoid/gain?}
  • Hack the “worth” (.) it’s about feeling worthy of our (desired) emotions / feelings.
  • How can we use this (Hacking the worth) [Perhaps we do this when we consciously step into the peaceful awareness of experiencing our thoughts as an almost external facet of reality rather than the dominating force of our inner reality – and from here we can ‘hack the worth’) to acquire emotional mastery over powerful negative feelings?
  • How do you combat the fear of procrastination / inaction? {motivation?} [Need to “hack the worth” and edit our stories: see: thisthis, and this.]
  • If we want change we have to untie our identity to past / present circumstances (reconcile who we are and what we are capable of in a separate/independent context from our present circumstance and past experience) and not just want change but be truly ready for it and prepared to accept it into our life.

Stepping into Stillness: Peaceful Awareness (Freedom from Thought) and Conscious Examination (Objective / Internal Perception)

  • When the mind wanders observe and question why it has wandered to a thought / idea / daydream. What is the underlying understanding or belief our subconscious is ideating {most people don’t even know why they think what they (the things and thoughts they) think} [?].
  • Our mind is often creating thoughts to reconcile subconscious feelings / justify feelings we have. We end up being a robot to these thoughts and basing our external reality on them instead of questioning why [said] thoughts are popping into our head and why we are experiencing [said] feelings. {gym guy w weights} (Footnote 1).
  • Could these wanderings be potential concepts, stories, or messages the subconscious is using the conscious mind to communicate [?].
  • Does the conscious mind just react.? Is it an imperfect vehicle because we aren’t self-aware and introspective enough of our own conscious thoughts / cognition [?].
  • In a way most all of us are at the mercy of our thoughts until we step put of them and into stillness / inner reality where we begin to experience our thoughts as a more external happening of reality (Footnote 2).
  • Is this (experiencing our thoughts as a ‘happening’ much like we experience the external world as ‘a happening’) what self-awareness is? {The experience of the self from a more internal perception.} Habitual active introspection / examination / higher consciousness evaluation (evaluation of our thoughts and feelings from a ‘higher level of consciousness’).
  • It feels like a more powerful way of being {peaceful awareness}. No longer lost in your (my) thoughts (Or perhaps the concept is expressed better simply as: ‘No longer lost in thought.’)
  • All opinions are judgements in the [this] sense we need to examine what feelings are judgements too.
  • To listen without judging means to listen with conscious love and appreciation.
  • Every interaction is an opportunity to learn. Every emotion is too [as well].
  • Unbiased examination / objective examination of our thoughts / feelings / emotions will help us to understand what is driving them (Identification of the [authentic/soul based] inner feelings, desires, fears, and biases behind our thoughts) and who we really are {the soul}.

Footnote 1: An positive experience where I examined my thoughts happened at the gym recently. A guy had left about a half-dozen sets of dumbbells on the floor near to where I was working out. I automatically (felt as if I) wanted to punch him and felt an overpowering sense of loathing for this stranger. It was so strong that knew I had to take a deep breath and a mental step back and consciously examine my thoughts. From this perspective I realized that there have been plenty of times where I have likely done things that have caused other people to loathe me – and the truth was, I didn’t know this guy – but he likely wasn’t trying to infuriate me, and being emotionally crippled by his actions was silly.

Footnote 2: This concept of experiencing our thoughts as a more external happening of reality is surely influenced by the following quote (From this Alan Watts audio I have been listening to): “And soon you will find that the so-called ‘outside world’ and the so-called ‘inside world’ come together – they are ‘a happening’. Your thoughts are ‘a happening’ just like the sounds going on outside and everything is simply a happening and all you’re doing is watching.”]

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