Journal: A Beast of Burden

I’m trying to stay conscious of myself, aware of my disposition and how it shapes my world. Today I found myself wanting to mutter the F word a lot. I was faced with an unexpected and altogether unnecessary workload due to a vendor I work with enforcing a new policy. In short, I spent about twelve hours using a Command Line Interface – mindless yet taxing work.

I take my life seriously today, and my time is precious. Not only as a commodity for me to invest toward my goals, but as a commodity by which I care for my soul. I don’t think humans were meant to stare into screens all day, pressing buttons in exact combinations. And as computing power becomes more omnipotent and artificial intelligence becomes a pliable asset, I expect much of the work we do today will be automated within the next three decades. That being said, I certainly don’t intend to spend my time filling in the gap, but, alas, there are means to ends; however, I believe human endeavors should profit the Soul and as such, it pained me to spend the day doing something with no benefit, tangible or otherwise.

The redeeming quality, however, being that I get to decide my own perspective and opinions on an otherwise meaningless and pithy matter. Because of this freedom I exercise – my own conscious will – I am reaping a reward of my own choosing.

The reward being that I am using this experience to learn key lessons for my future:

1. I need to remain true to my Stoic self and recognize that being ruffled by something outside of my own control is little more than foolish masochism; human folly. I must guard myself against this error in my ways.

2. As CEO of my business and my life, I need to prepare for such matters as I might and delegate them to someone who would appreciate the work – or at least the income.

3. I must contrive to find joy in all I do, remaining mindful of the fact that this is all temporary. And it’s not only my present station in life that is temporary, but life itself. Might I have profited my soul more by listening to Bethoven and getting into flow as I worked.

4. Most days do not present such obstacles and I typically have complete ownership and control of my time. I need to remember this and be grateful whenever obstacles do not arise.

Amor fati. Love your fate. As Marcus wrote: “For what could be more suited for you than that which is fated for you.”

Ah, what a silly beast of burden I was today.

The sun’ll come up tomorrow, you can be your bottom dollar that tomorrow…

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