I don’t typically write in the mornings; however, today is anything but typical, for my life is no longer typical; I have evolved, and I am growing, I am changing, and life has become something other than I thought it was, so I am writing this to declare something:
I am accepting that I live in a world where other people don’t see things like I do.
And I understand this today because I used to think like everyone else ; I used to think all this was real: the fear, the anxiety, the lack of control – the doubt, the insecurity.
But I have grown to see things differently, and all that doubting myself is gone.
Today I am embracing that the road to my dreams is not in the ways of man; for society’s ways are no longer my own.
My ways are in my truths alone, and these truths exist independently from the world I live in; for I believe things others do not.
believe know that if you can dream it, you can achieve it.
This is not, to borrow a phrase from the late David Foster Wallace, a banal platitude.
This is truth. Not for the world but for me.
The world’s reality is simply no longer mine.
And I’m more than good with that, but the gorge between my reality and the collective consciousness of the world I live in must be recognized, it cannot be ignored; the gorge must be acknowledged, accepted, embraced, and lived.
1: Re: “I used to think like everyone else”:
Not only did I pretty much think like everyone else, I also falsely believed that everyone else pretty much thought like me, which kind of made me feel batshit crazy, because I couldn’t understand why people would do the things they would do.
However, I recently came across a comment from someone on the subject of infidelity, which shed some light on the matter for me:
Folks cheat because they are selfish, insecure, jerks who will take any reason to get what they want, and could care less if their self destructive actions hurt anyone else. Then they lie and manipulate so well that they seem like victims. Folks who choose not to cheat do it for one simple reason: they promised themselves and others, and their word actually means something. The thing is, a person with honor will never understand the person who lies and cheats. It’s not in their nature.
Having realized how subjective reality is and how many things go into a person’s character (ex: perspective, beliefs, experiences, biases, etc), I now see that I will never really understand most people, because their ways are contrary to my nature, just as most people will never really understand me.