For Sarah

I’d spent years, every type of therapy,
Seeking desperately for a cure to my story

But not even LSD could teach me not to see
But still, I tried to kill the myth in me

I wanted to drown out the pain
The feeling of believing one has suffered in vain

So, not knowing better, I did what I did: I hid
In bars and alone on train cars, beneath tattoos and scars

And I even managed to sneak in and out of a few hearts
For, after all, who has not sought comfort in a stranger or fifty’s arms – no harm

But society was never the right mirror for me,
I only related to dead people, for they were always my preferred company

I found more truth in books than I ever saw in another’s looks
Windows to the soul never saw me – but alas…

And so, seeking sanity, I finally learned to be alone.
And for the first time in my life, I was okay on my own:

Of course, just when I stopped searching,
I find my forever home.

And, life’s script always following the great Bard of Avon:
The course of our true love did too never run smooth

So, I did what men do, I erected a veil for a fortress,
Reminding us both, “I didn’t need You”

And you would agree too;
We stuck our noses in the air at one another, like sister and brother

And despite the shit we went through,
We held to – as true lovers always do

Then I turn 31 and you take a work trip to DC for the week
And woe is me, I never felt so weak

So lonely without all I need,
So helpless and gasping for our air to breathe

And I’m sorry that it took being without you to see
But now I remember why this world’s not for me – not without you to help me be

Because I sought for years to be okay, but I think it’s time I accept that the kid’s not alright –
Because I’m more lonely than I’ve ever been on these wretched, godless, nights

So, I’ll remember when I close my eyes tonight,
That Your’s was the only light I ever saw

And I’ll be waiting here,
To cling to your breast as a bird does the nest

Knowing that I will not make it out of this life alive,
But that I can get through it with you by my side

I am not much for this world, truth be told
But I am for Sarah, whom my affection grants her possession of my eternal soul

And thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Least of all in these short few more wintery days

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