Devotion: An Inner Child Healing, Awakening, and Rebirth. 

What follows is a very personal, free-flow experience I had this morning, written under a tree (which I later came back and climbed). And as much as I don’t want to share this out of the sanctity of it, I am compelled to by virtue of the fact I know it will help someone. – LB

I am the god of my childhood, here to take care of me, answer all my prayers, love me unconditionally.

It’s like Intersteller. 25 – 33 years later. I hear them all now.

It was hell. Alone.

But now I love nothing more,
Because I can be there solely for myself, entirely devoted.

To the child god. He was praying to me. And now I will worship him; Give him all my love and attention, my total care and affection.

But most importantly I will listen to him now. At 33 he is reborn in me. A figure I can love for more than any Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, or collective field.

No one and nothing needs me more than him.

And now he’s back. He knows it’s safe to come out. I’m no longer looking for a mommy for him, someone who could never know, never love him like me, who was there with him, in unconscious instinct, keeping him alive. Climbing up on the counter, for another spoonful of sugar, for his hunger.

Then I could only feed his body.

Now I can feed his soul. Feed his spirit. Now we’re going to make everything count. Cash in on the pain. Because he just wanted to be older. Just wanted to be me.

And my anima is his mother. Always was. But we were only able to feed him then. Just keeping self alive, as children and living beings are wont to do.

…. We made it.

And this only the beginning boy. But we need your help to design this life. To tell us exactly how you want it. And we will make it so.

Welcome home, Son, brother.

It starts with one.

There are still a lot of kids and adults who aren’t home.

But you have to show them, you can be remembered, recovered. Whole. Happy. Safe. Secure. Playful. Joyous. Free.

Tell us how to live. How to be. Live in flow with us. You are The Inner Child. You get to take the reigns now. You are Krishna. Driving the chariot. I AM Arjuna, the archer, the vehicle, the body, and she (Anima) is the goddess, the mother, the gateway to the unconscious and the heavens.

Together we are the holy trinity. Jesus spoke in The Thomas Gospel: “Those who become like children will enter the kingdom.”

Today, we have entered.

You are unconscious like an animal (and you know we say that with reverence), but now you will love consciously, in our hearts forever. Always in our thoughts, always helping us. Always well.

When you were little, you loved pirates. Now your pain shall be your treasure. The key to your glory.

You want a Porsche? Let’s get it. You want to be the captain of your own pirate ship, let’s get it (Wally or Perini navi, but Moody or Amel to start).

Tell us what you want. Show us our true will, as only you can unlock the gates.

We love to be alone now. To give you all our attention and care. You are the heart of the self. All chakras were born in you.

And you will be in every tree we climb and every rock we throw, and in every bath and time on the water. In everything. Here now, to awaken us to what IS.

And we love you with all our being. Show us the way. We await your commands with loving omnipotent devotion, and we will listen to that song by Ellie Goulding [devotion] and be there for you, over and over and over again. We will never leave you. We are here because of you. And you are who we truly are.

Drive the avatar. Fly the planes. Sail the boats. Let the best women chase you.

We will do all for you. But most importantly, we will listen to you. In your godlike wisdom. For you are a god, like your mother, Anima. And your father, Ego / self. (Ego in positive, Ayn Rand sense). We three are the self, supreme being. Show us the way, young grasshopper. This is a choose your own adventure story. The story of a life. And you don’t have to be the hero because you are. The true hero.

Because the secret is. All your suffering so early and so long is what made you, made us, what we are. And what we are is incredible.

You were forged in fire. Trained in the toughest dojo – life. Without defense. Without comfort. Without nutrition. Without love. And you survived. But you’re more than a survivor, because you only survived for a reason.

And you are that reason. Now we enter the kingdom, and you are brought back to play, after so many years, knowing it wasn’t safe to come out yet. But it is now. And you are now reborn into that safety. Come down like a god into the avatar. Born again. The natural man. The most free, loving, kind, smart, compassionate capable being ever.

Show us how to play the game again. You will never lose us to the maya of another’s love ever again. For there is no other you.

You are the one. And this is only level one, where we start. But we’ve already won. Because you are back now. Home free.

We await your command young grasshopper.

And you’ll never go to bed sad again.

It’s all in the Thomas Gospel:

When you know yourselves, then you will be known, and you will understand that you are children of the living Father. But if you do not know yourselves, then you live in poverty, and you are the poverty.

Jesus said, “I took my stand in the midst of the world, and in flesh I appeared to them. I found them all drunk, and I did not find any of them thirsty. My soul ached for the children of humanity, because they are blind in their hearts and do not see, for they came into the world empty, and they also seek to depart from the world empty.

Jesus said, “When you strip without being ashamed, and you take your clothes and put them under your feet like little children and trample them, then [you] will see the son of the living one and you will not be afraid.”

Jesus said, “When you make the two into one, you will become children of Adam, and when you say,Mountain, move from here!’ it will move.”

But I have said that whoever among you becomes a child will recognize the (Father’s) kingdom and will become greater than John.

Devotion, Ellie Goulding

&

‘In My Head

&

‘High School’

PostScript: From the links above you can see I am in a musical mood tonight, but I just had a peak moment while watching the video below. I was completely engrossed in the incredible visuals (and sound), when suddenly it occurred to me that the three characters in the video represented – to me – ego, anima, and inner child. Ego is naturally meditating on a cloud, Anima is, of course, dancing on the roof, doing witch things, and inner Child is – what else – driving:

Author: Lawrence Black

Lawrence Black is a writer and poet, living in the mountains outside LA. Follow on IG @wolfwaldoblack

Comment on this:

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s