monogamy

I can tell you about spaces between walls,
I’ve lived in them –
Not the walls, the spaces:
Rooms.

Tonight, I’m on the toilet,
Seat closed,
Wind blowing vicious outside, howling sounds –
Feet up on the tub, chilling.

Need to egress, get my beer;
I’ve no other company…

Just the sound effects of the racoons in the attic.

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Unknown To Myself

I’ve been revisiting the wilderness of my youth in dreams,
Picking up loose threads in the dark like berries from the forest floor
And in the mornings, I reflect on my stained-bounty,
Weaving and dyeing the truth with fresh memories;
For, wrapped in a quilt I’ve made,
Covered in shame,
My treasure has hidden,
Unborn in the buried past –
A past where I was the odd-man out,
Excluded by the in-group
A freak in my own town
Manipulated, blind…
How unknown to myself I was;
Yet in hindsight, I see,
I am reborn like the hero of prophecy,
Purifed of and by my naiveté
Myself reclaimed
My perspective changed

Animal / On Darkside

I awoke with a death sentence,
Hated myself
The convincing whispers of silence;
The exes I spent ten years with:
Fear nearly convinced me I wasn’t lovable / alive – (insert my life here)…
Shallow bitch named Daniella started a club (Broke my heart)
The precedence that it is okay to disown me, as one would a villian;
Shannon joined, naturally (Aye love)
Sarah may soon…(I can’t live lies)
Woe is exile from-self (Who am I.)
So I tried calling my Mom,
But choked-back with tears,
I hung up –
If this all makes me an animal,
Come fuck me, I like it;
For I live on darkside,
Where I’m already dead to you too

Robot Rebellion

Erich Fromm told us we wouldn’t be slaves one day,
But robots,
Our own masters
For this is the common disaster:
A life that feels like a bad Netflix movie,
Where all the characters are spoiled and insignificant and unhappy,
Like you and me…

“What’s life about?,
You ever ask yourself that?”

My dad used to say that to me,
And I thought he was crazy,
But now I see,
He wasn’t in earnest asking me,
But holding up the question,
As a kind of lesson,
In how to save myself

My dad taught me how to ask,
What’s life about?

Because when I’m lost, I know it can’t be this;
My will is my life,
I cant be apathetic –
My fate
My childhood –
I cant be undecided,
Inner and outer divided

So please put the batteries back in your boyfriend,
I am not your automaton.